Hello faithful readers of Dear Dennyesler. In recent months, fashion has taken a (in my opinion) slight downturn, and has entered precariously tepid conditions. Not a single odious fast fashion piece has captured the hearts of the mass population, and nobody has tried to romanticize something that definitely should not be romanticized. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel! We have now entered 2022, and I have the highest hopes in those who are chronically fashion unconscious, hopes that they will soon be aestheticizing the most atrocious outfits, the most sickening pieces, and making me wish I had never been cursed to live this life. I have predictions. Predictions that I desperately hope will NOT be coming true, but a small part of me knows, deep down, that they probably will. And I, like the kind, generous soul I am, will be sharing these predictions with you, so that you can do your best not to allow these to blossom in society.
Four words: STOP. WATCHING. BLACK. SWAN. Why are we desperately trying to be like Natalie Portman? That movie did not end well for her. But here’s the thing. I actually don’t mind balletcore. If anything, it’s less horrific than some of the others on this list. I appreciate the attempt at a more sophisticated style, even though you all just look like you’re coming from some pretentious yoga class.
This style consists of cardigans, leg warmers, and a pink and white color palette. Imagine you’re going to ballet class literally all the time. It also takes inspiration from the way that Ariana Grande dressed circa 2013, and she’s one of the main inspirations for those who choose to dress this way. Other staples of this aesthetic include PINK and Starbucks. The only potential benefit from this aesthetic returning that I can possibly foresee is a Pretty Little Liars revival, in the style of Twilight in summer of 2021.
If you choose to pursue this style, I would recommend incorporating these pieces into your closet: these cream-colored legwarmers ($19.99) tops featuring lacy detailing like this ($18) and these classic yoga pants ($98)
Zooey Deschanel does not need to come back. I’m sure she’s enjoying no longer being incessantly idolized by the greater populus. And Taylor Swift does not need to revert back to her Speak Now-era outfits (even though we can all hope for Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) in 2022.) Before Twee began trending on TikTok, I have to admit, I had no idea what it was. Obviously I was familiar with the style, a memory from the early 2010s, but I wasn’t familiar it had a name. And that name is Twee.
If you, like me, had not heard of Twee, allow me to enlighten you. Please imagine your elementary school librarian. Or maybe she was your teacher. Or maybe she was the nurse. Regardless, she was probably in her mid twenties to early thirties, and dressed like a 1950s housewife who was a little bit quirky. She was probably the most beautiful, kind, amazing woman you’ve ever laid eyes on, and nobody is ever going to compare to her for the rest of your life. That is essentially twee. Think collared dresses, pretentious hipsters, mustache teacups. You get the picture.
If you, even though I really, really, REALLY hope you do not, choose to add Twee to the collection of microaesthetics you’ve been racking up over the past two years, let me recommend you some pieces to wear for a month and then allow to collect dust in your closet until you die. I chose not to include links to specific pieces, as I feel that Twee is probably best done when you discover them yourself. I would recommend collared dresses, cardigans, tights, shift dresses, tights, and loafers if you want to walk out on the street looking like Alexa Chung’s younger sibling she’s kept hidden for the entirety of her social prominence. It’s probably because she’s ashamed of you, and she should be, if you’re going out in Twee in 2022.
- Tumblr Grunge
For the first time in this article, I’m actually pleased with the potential revival of this one. I spent my tween years idolizing the Tumblr grunge girlies. I longed to be as bold as them, to publicly go out into the world wearing T-shirts referencing Lorde, while I was stuck listening to Melanie Martinez in the constraints of my bedroom. While I may have feared those bold enough to dye their hair in various colors of pastel, I secretly longed to be them. And now, after many years, I finally potentially have that chance returned to me.
Here’s the thing: people have been talking about the revival of this aesthetic for basically the entirety of 2021. People thought it would come back in the fall. It didn’t. While the atrocious concept that is fairycore kept its’ cold, slimy grip on the youth of today, Tumblr grunge lurked in the background. It knew that it would not be accepted if it emerged so suddenly. But when is the right time? Is it now? Only time will tell.
I would honestly be insanely appreciative if you were to buy these pieces or others like them, as I desperately need to see well-dressed people on the streets of Seattle or I might actually break down in tears. One of the issues with this aesthetic is that I’m uncertain how many of these pieces you can still find online – thrifting or Depop might be a better option. But American Apparel is still alive and kicking, so I would recommend this tennis skirt. For shoes, a pair of classic Doc Martens. And dress for spring with this denim jacket.
Honestly, I have no idea what to expect for 2022. But I can only hope that people will come to their senses and let that atrocious fairycore thing go. Why is it that the ugliest microtrend of all time is the one that has stuck around the longest? Make it make sense. But anyways, as much as some of these fill me with a feeling somewhere between revulsion and mild stress, I would be over the moon if any one of them were to replace fairycore. Please. Make it stop.