via The Tab
by Altea and Shreya
Many atrocious things have occurred in the long and distressing history of fashion, but there are certain pieces of clothing that maintained a chokehold on the general population that can only be described as nearing cult-like. These examples have since become synonymous with certain periods of modern society, bringing back a nauseating sense of nostalgia. The 2010s were honestly one of the most vomit-inducing stages of fashion we have ever had the misfortune to witness firsthand. We are ashamed that a significant portion of our formative years had to occur during this vile decade. The societal upheaval that was fashion in the period of time spanning from Yours Truly-era Ariana Grande to Emma Chamberlain has continued to wreak general havoc even today, in which some sects of sinister people have been deluded into the notion that the fashion from this era must remain, must be celebrated, must not be shoved into a shallow grave and set on fire. To protect our valuable readership, we have compiled the list of the most sordid, the most horrendously trendy pieces of the 2010s that evoke a collective depraved nostalgia as fashion history youtubers and general educated women alike tear apart for the rest of eternity.
- Brandy Melville Honey Sweatshirt
Starting off with one of the most bearable items on our list, we have the classic Brandy Melville honey sweatshirt. In case we have somehow captured some younger readers, let me explain the chokehold that this had on the general population of middle school girls in the 2018-2019 school year. Everyone who was anyone had one of these, and wore it with denim shorts. I feel as if this particular article of clothing is understated when people discuss VSCO girls. In some circles, these were even more prevalent than the widely talked about messy-bun-scrunchie combo.
In all of their sinister varieties, ankle high, mid calf, THIGH HIGH, uggs have dominated the ugly-pretty, pumpkin-spice-latte, athleisure, of cold climates. Especially frequenting the far more conformist East Side, uggs infected middle and even elementary schools alike promising the wearer furry comfort and water-resistance. Uggs were always worn over the wearer’s respective pants, usually black leggings (as pictured). But unlike Gucci, uggs have never been glamorous, uggs should have never been celebrated, encouraged. Comfort being prioritized over fashion, functionality holding such a high place in those self-proclaimed trend followers, bootlickers, bottom-feeders, should have never been normalized. We should have never settled for uggs, we should have been better. We should have sent puffy-ankled girlies to the gallows. Uggs were a fashion sickness which for all of our sake must never, never return. Wrap a ziploc bag around your feet and stuff some upholstery in it if you’re really in need of a functional winter footwear.
This is a relic from a slightly more pleasantly nostalgic period – Tumblr grunge. We have loudly and publicly expressed our views on Tumblr grunge in many, many articles, and chokers are no exception. They bring back both fond and not-so-fond memories of a time in which all the cool girls wore wardrobes entirely comprised of either Claire’s or Hot Topic, depending on their age range or subculture. But while you all know I live for a few good Tumblr grunge-inspired pieces to throw into the wardrobe for a pleasant blast from the past, I would not advise the well-intentioned reader to choose this. If you’re hoping to incorporate more of a 2014 look into your own personal style, I’d recommend a good skater skirt and a timeless pair of Doc Martens. You’ll look like you’ve just come back from a The 1975 concert while still maintaining your dignity.
4. Mid Rise Light Wash Distressed Jeans
I know you have seen these tweens, possibly teens, frequenting your local mall. I know you probably were one of them. I know that there is a distinct possibility that you could still be one of them. And for that I have to say, suck yourself out of the American Eagle chokehold, and grow a spine. Distressed light wash skinny jeans, literally represent everything that was wrong with society in the 2010s. Paired with a chunky white sneaker, pastel ankle high socks, usually some sort of sweatshirt, comfort reigned supreme in these dark days. But can one ever be truly comfortable swathed in hideous ensemble? The thing I want to know, the thing that no one has bothered to inform me, is that when denim is wrapped around your legs tighter than saran wrap to a refrigerated steak, does the blood flow just constrict up to the brain in order for these afflicted individuals to deluded themselves into stepping into the public eye? Perhaps with flares and straight leg, intact jeans, we are all simply able to function cerebrally.
5. Mint Triangl bikini
I KNOW you’ve all seen this classic look. I may have been barely sentient at the height of this particular piece’s reign of terror, but I could still recognize it anywhere. I have absolutely no idea where this came from, who thought it was cute, who decided to turn it into a symbol of status and taste, but I’m going to visit them. And I’m bringing a gun. You can’t see the feet of the model in this photo, but I’d bet my firstborn child that she’s wearing gladiator sandals. I can’t comprehend how anyone with half a brain could possibly think that stepping outside in this would result in anything other than public humiliation and a ruined reputation, but the mid-2010s were a dark time for the general population, especially in terms of fashion.
6. Sherpa Jacket
This won’t be the first time I’ve publicly flamed Emma Chamberlain in a fashion article, and it certainly won’t be the last. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate Emma. I love all that she does, and am deeply impressed by the level of influence she managed to reach. At a certain point, she was one of the sole leaders in fashion and beauty in the world of teenage girls. But this…I will never forgive her for this. The sherpa jacket is a cute staple, but the way that they crept into the collective psyche was almost horrifying. I don’t think I truly believed in the hive mind until I couldn’t turn my head during the fall of 2018 without seeing some of the most evil girls on the face of the earth parading around in these. Did I barely know them? Sure. Did they strike terror deep into my soul every time they laid their gaze on me, even if just for a moment? Definitely.
Even though this sinister era has passed, has come and gone, it will always be readily accessible on all forms of social media. Let this be a warning to us all, to never forget the grotesque form that we evolved from. Just as we place monkeys in zoos to marvel at the wonders of nature, let us all subject ourselves to a healthy dose of 2010s fashion to ensure that we never will nostalgically hanker for the days of galaxy print, fish nets, sherpa, brandy melville sunflower tees, and so much more that has yet to be dredged up in this article.