‘Tis the lovely season for a Gilmore Girls reruns. Something about the transition in foliage leaves us all hankering for the lovely New England town of Stars Hollow. Arguably the most interesting plot lines are the various love affairs of the two protagonists. But I’m tired of picking between the various mediocre brunettes that cycle through Lorelai’s bed, or even more so the long-standing debate between the Logan-girlies and the Jess-girlies. Most, if not all of, the superior love interests did not even belong to the two leads. And none of them stuck around for the ending, but I’m going to give them the recognition they deserved.
Oh David. Never have I seen devotion in a more pure form. When Dave pulled an all-nighter to comb the Bible for the sliver of hope that Mrs. Kim would allow him to take Lane to prom, I nearly beat my fists against the floorboards. The schemes that he and Lane devised to sneak around both her mother and their bandmates are nothing short of CIA-level. I don’t understand how Zach does not awaken daily with crippling insecurity because if I were Lane I would have followed Dave to California and never looked back. While Zach’s defining characteristic is his himbo (yet caring) nature, meant to juxtapose with Lane’s overthinking paranoia, all it seems to do is cause chronic miscommunication between the two. Conversely, Dave and Lane are exceedingly similar in their thoughtfulness but Dave’s cautiously spontaneous streak provides enough difference between the two that their relationship is still exciting. David met a tragically geographic end, but I do think that if he had stuck around him and Lane would have ended up together. Perhaps they would have left Connecticut together and gone to pursue music in New York, as Dave was the only one who could have saved Lane from the sickly arms of domesticated suburbia.
Jamie Last Name Unknown.
Princeton man. Jamie really deserved to have an ending with much more dignity than what transpired. Paris’ cruel streak certainly manifested itself through the latter half of their relationship, so we’ll just focus on the beginning. Sweet like Dave, Paris and Jamie meet over the summer in DC and he is one of the few that challenges her intellectually. From the moment he whips out the Zagat after picking Paris up for their first date, the adoration is palpable. However, this eventually led to his demise. Paris, as proven with her affair with Professor Asher Fleming, needs men to have prominent red flags. Jamie is achingly healthy compared with most of her other love interests: he’s not wild enough for her, he can’t keep her on her toes, etc. If Asher had not perished in such an unexpected matter, I have no doubt that she would have continually embarrassed herself until a younger alternative caught his beady pedophilic eyes. I wish Jamie’s character would have been developed more, but I do not think he was made to last. Paris would have probably broken it off with him even if it weren’t for Asher, likely labeling him as a distraction. C’est la vie.
Amending my earlier statement, Doyle actually does stick around for the finale and makes an appearance in the reboot, which I was supremely pleased about. His unwillingness to leave after the abuse he endured at the hands of Paris, his persistence, led to his victorious end. I wish the show had delved into his concerning past, and likely benign childhood neglect. Nevertheless, his slight manic, obsessive, and psychotic streaks surrounding his work and explosive fights with his girlfriend give their relationship enough intrigue for Paris to stick around. With their Krav Maga lessons and 4 am yoga practices, Rory and Logan pale in comparison. Even though they seemingly do not end up together, Paris and Doyle remain in each other’s lives, continually fighting in front of their children, as it should be.
Now, before you close this tab in protest, I am aware that the only love interest more unlikable is Dean Forester. And that is precisely why Tristan is included on this list. Tristan is not Dean Forester. Tristan is the exact opposite of Dean Forester. Tristan and Rory have that bordering-on-toxic-annoying-witty-teasing banter that makes their scenes full of fire, full of passion, full of life. Dean’s immense hatred for Tristan further intensifies his appeal, akin to the Jess phenomenon. Tristan also brings out all of Dean’s worst attributes, such as his possessiveness like when he “supervises” rehearsal of the Romeo and Juliet scene. That being said, Tristan’s relentless pursual of Rory is not a great look for him, especially when she is fully smitten with Dean, but he does provide an interesting “what if” scenario that is perfectly captured in all of the meticulously crafted edits of the two. Tristan was supposed to make a return after his sudden departure, but instead we were gifted with yet another blond nepotism baby–Logan. I guess his sacrifice was worth it, but I do wish we could have seen him prowl the gothic halls of Yale.
Finally on our list, perhaps my most controversial take of all. I hate what the show’s writers did to him, because it is incredibly out of character for Christopher to become so insecure of Lorelai’s connection with Luke. I vehemently despised the entire love-triangle trope between the three of them because of the sheer nonsensical nature of it. Christopher and Lorelai have known each other since they were toddler-aged children. They were each other’s first loves, they had a child together, they were engaged, and then 20 years later they briefly got married. They bicker about music, they have grudging unrelenting chemistry, and their connection could never be contested. It makes me physically ill that Lorelai ended up with Luke over Christopher, almost as much as Christopher’s second child with the Sherry woman. I have no idea why Christopher even went out with her in the first place, much less stuck around enough to first impregnate, then marry her, which just goes to show that the writers were seriously disturbed when crafting his character. He is a breath of fresh air, a starking contrast with the rest of the broody brunettes that Lorelai contends with.
Overall, the superior love interests in Gilmore Girls all met their untimely ends, in various degrees of tragedy. Their fleeting presences were necessary, and it brings me much joy that we were all graced with their existence and unfortunate haunting departures.